U stanu se osjećao ustajali zrak. Bilo je hladno i ja sam navukla na sebe bijeli kućni ogrtač. Onda sam ugledala svoje Ray Ban naočale sa srebrnim staklima i stavila sam i njih uz taj kućni ogrtač, a zatim ugledala crnu vunenu kapu s natpisom I love NY koju sam davno donijela kao suvenir iz Amerike. I nju sam stavila na glavu i sjela za klavir.
– Joj, klavir. Uh kako su ove tipke dobre protiv riba – govorila sam prolazeći neke fraze i melodije, a Sabi je umirala od smijeha kad me vidjela takvu. Džavid se, također, smijao i njih dvoje su bili sretni što sam ja raspoložena.
– Sad izgledam kao onaj pravi rakaš – rekla sam Sabini, a ona se još glasnije nasmijala.
– Znaš oni rakaši, onaj film Sati – Virginia Woolf, pa ima onaj pisac što umire od raka.
On zapravo umire od AIDS-a, ali meni je to bilo isto, jer su u filmovima svi teški bolesnici izgledali kao ja tada, s vunenom kapom na glavi, blijedog lica u kućnom ogrtaču, ali ne sjećam se da sam ikad vidjela da jedan rakaš svira klavir u tom outfitu sa srebrnim rejbankama. Ovaj rak je totalno ludilo.
Sabi me slikala.
Totalna ludnica, ma šta ludnica, ljepota.
Baš kao kod svoje kuće.
Sabi je morala da ode, a Džavid i ja smo ostali da pripremimo još neke stvari za selidbu. Ponijela sam samo par ličnih stvari, jer sve što mi je bilo potrebno sam već imala, trenerke, pidžame i nisam imala potrebe nositi garderobu. Prebacili smo namještaj, knjige, posuđe i veće stvari.
SOBA ZA NIKOGA – Poglavlje 18
True cancer patient
In the apartment, the air was stale. It was cold and I put on a white robe. Then I saw my Ray Ban sunglasses with silver glasses and I put them on with the robe, and then I saw a black wool cap with the words I love NY which I brought a long time ago as a souvenir from America. And I put it to my head and sat down behind the piano.
– Oh, the piano. These keys are so good against the fish. – I said, going through some phrases and melodies, and Sabi was dying of laughter when she saw me like that. Dzavid also laughed and the two of them were happy that I was in such a good mood.
– Now I look like a true cancer patient – I said to Sabina, and she started laughing even louder.
– You know the cancer patients from the movie The Hours, Virginia Woolf, and there was this writer who was dying of cancer. He was actually dying of AIDS, but for me it was the same, because, in the movies everyone who was seriously ill looked like I look now, with a woollen cap on his head, pale face in a bathrobe, but I do not remember that I ever saw a cancer patient playing the piano in this outfit with silver Ray Ban glasses. This cancer is total madness.
Sabi was taking photos of me. Total madness, not madness – beauty. After all, that was my home.
Sabi had to go, and Dzavid and I stayed to prepare some things for the move. I brought only a few personal belongings, because everything I needed I already had, sweat suits, pyjamas and I had no need to wear clothes. We moved furniture, books, dishes and some bigger things.
ROOM FOR NOBODY – Chapter 18
SOBA ZA NIKOGA 