Palma de Mallorca je još jače šljaštila u večernjim satima dok sam s našeg udaljenog brda posmatrala polijetanja i slijetanja aviona i užareni grad koji kao da se topio pred mojim očima. Sjedila sam na terasi kraj bazena i pila na slamku svoju redovnu večernju vodu s limunom koja je bila već topla. Listala sam na netu slike raznih orijentalnih kineskih i japanskih tetovaža i zamišljala sam svog zmaja. Moj kineski horoskopski znak.

Bila sam u fazi važnih životnih odluka i u tom odlučnom stanju da nešto promijenim obuzela me i ogromna želja da se istetoviram. Da zabilježim svoju priču do te tačke, a onda da neke stvari i navike promijenim zauvijek. Pokušala sam upravo tetovažom da zatvorim jedno poluvrijeme. Jedno bogato poglavlje veličanstvenog života potpuno spremnog za promjene.

Na španskim plažama su svakodnevno šetale zgodne žene svih generacija sa šarenim tetovažama. Sunca, ornamenti, portreti, imena, datumi… Crne i slike u bojama. Gledala sam danima okolo. Pijuckajući sangriju na pijesku posmatrala sam svaku tetoviranu ženu… Nose ih na vratu, ruci, leđima…, i razmišljala sam o svim razlozima ZA I PROTIV. Šta god sam pomislila bilo je ZA, ZA, ZA… ZA!!! Tražila sam i najmanji razlog protiv, da bih odbila tu želju, ali nisam ga našla.

Zmaj – simbol snage. Zaštitničke snage. Da me čuva od zlih pogleda i jezika. Kad okrenem leđa da posmatra s ramena. Da me čuva i štiti od svih loših trenutaka i ljudi koji su me u prošlosti povrijedili. Da, nema sumnje, tetovirat ću se.

Nisam mogla da zamislim ni u najluđim snovima da će upravo to što sam odredila slikama biti moje najveće životno iskušenje, koje je upravo oslikano na koži cijele lijeve ruke kao predskazanje i podsjetnik. Bila sam potpuno nesvjesna budućnosti koja se bližila.

Kazni me, o, Bože, kazni me za sve i daj mi snagu Zmaja za borbu s Ribama u Novom početku s puno Cvijeća i Lavom da mi čuva Sunce od Oblaka, koji prijete da ga zaklone i vječni Mir u broju 8. Zmaju daj velike rogove, dugu gustu kosu i čvrste kandže da ga održe na nogama. Zamotaj ga u obliku broja 8 da vječno čuva Mir, jer sutra je Novi dan i slaba, jača sam.

Tek sada vidim da je to zapravo bila prava molitva. Sve što izgovorimo je molitva, zapamtite! A ono što mislimo drugima čini nas i bližima i daljima, što jedni drugima, što prema Bogu, što od Boga.

SOBA ZA NIKOGA – Poglavlje 1

Beware of the Dragon Woman

Palma de Mallorca glared even more in the evening while I was watching, from our distant hill, take-offs and landings of planes and the incandescent city that seemed to be melting before my eyes. I was sitting on the terrace by the pool and drinking through a straw my usual evening water with lemon, which was already warm. I was surfing the Internet, watching some pictures of different oriental Chinese and Japanese tattoos and imagining my dragon. My Chinese zodiac sign.

I was going through the phase of important life decisions and, in this decisive condition, I was overcome by a huge desire to get tattooed. To record my story to that point, and then to change some things and habits forever. I tried to close a halftime with a tattoo. One rich chapter of a glorious life completely ready for changes.

Every day, I could see pretty women of all ages walking on the beaches of Spain with their colourful tattoos. Sun, ornaments, portraits, names, dates … some black and others in colour. I was looking around for days. I was sipping sangria on the beach and watching all those tattooed women … they had their tattoos on their necks, arms, backs, and I was thinking about all the PROS AND CONS. Every reason I thought of was PRO, PRO, PRO…PRO!! I was looking for the slightest reason to refuse this wish, but I did not find it.

Dragon – a symbol of strength. Protective power. To keep me from evil look and tongue. When I turn my back, to observe everything from my shoulder. To guard and protect me from all the bad moments and people who hurt me, insulted me and wronged me in the past. Yes, there is no doubt, I’ll get a tattoo.

In my wildest dreams, I couldn’t imagine that precisely this which was determined with my pictures would be the greatest temptation of my life and at that moment it was painted on the skin of my entire left arm as a prophecy and a reminder that I was completely unaware of the future that was approaching.

Punish me, oh God punish me for everything and give me the strength of the Dragon to fight together with the Fish in the New Beginning with lots of Flowers and Leo, who will guard the Sun from Clouds, which threaten to cover it and give me the eternal peace in number 8. Give Dragon the big horns, long, thick hair and strong claws to keep him on his feet. Wrap him in a form of the number 8 to keep peace forever, because tomorrow is a new day, for when I am weak, then I am stronger.

Only now I can see it was actually a real prayer.

Everything we say is a prayer, remember! And what we wish for others brings us closer or further apart from each other, closer to God or further from God.

ROOM FOR NOBODY – Chapter 1